apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
