So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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