I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just puked most of my soul out..
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