OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
