There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
