Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
