the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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