I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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