If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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