i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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