i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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