Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
