Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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