Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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