i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
