Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
