i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Randomize
