In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
