FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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