Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
