Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
