I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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