I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
