I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
