i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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