Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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