And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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