ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
