it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
