I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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