ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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