I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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