i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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