i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
