Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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