she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
