I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
