happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
