Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
