I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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