I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
