her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
