last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
