I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
