Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
