My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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