I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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