An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
