I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
