Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
