your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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