I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
